Needy vs. Need Me

Mo and I realize that there are certain types characteristics that can help or hurt FRIENDSHIPS.  We will discuss some of those periodically in order to share how it did or did not affect our journey.

There are some people who are "needy".  You know what I mean, not needy as in cash is low, or needing a babysitter.  But needy, like "What are you doing now, and in the next 5 minutes, and the 5 minutes after that?"  "What are you wearing?"  "What's your favorite color?"  "What would you do if you were me?"  All of this and more makes one person too dependent on the other.  He or she needs the other to make decisions, to basically tell them what to do.  At first, you may feel like you're helping, like you're being there.  But eventually, if it's unhealthy, you will get burned out, tired, and will start screening your calls, and not responding to texts, tweets, and facebook!  The person will want to talk all day everyday, telling you ALL their problems, ALL their concerns, and then won't listen to sound advice to make things better.  They also can't be relied on to hold your circumstances in confidence, nor can they help to bring you to positive results, because they are too focused on needing you to complete them, to think for them.  They are almost like a leech, sucking and draining the energy out of you, and that is not healthy for you. 

Mo and I have had moments where we may have been needy - but they were only moments of "temporary insanity".  For example, last year, Mo was going through something, and it was days and days, and days.  (Totally unlike us to let something take us under for too long...)  So, after a while, I snapped her back and said, "look, we know better than this.  This situation is up to God, so give it to HIM!"  I encouraged her to begin reading positive things, the bible, and other books that filled our minds with positive things, and then I brought some books to her.  I told her to speak life over the situation!  Same for me, I was in a 4 year situation, and it consumed me.  I was needy at points, because things would happen almost daily, and my venting started getting really tired.  Mo had to show tough love to get me to snap out of it, telling me I was giving the other person power...  and that "real bad boys move in silence", which meant to be quiet and let the other person destroy herself!  It was hard, but it worked, life and death are in the power of the tongue!  All I needed to do was be still, and quiet.

Needing someone is different than being needy.  Over 26 years, we certainly have needed each other.  During different stages of life, we relied on each other.  There were also times when divine intervention made one of us do something like call the other, and we didn't realize the other one needed us.  And many of those happened during some of our "separations"...  But that's different.  We know that NO MATTER WHAT, either of us can call the other at any given time, and we are there!

So, in the end, be sure that the people you may be calling friends are not needy in the respect that they need too much from you.  Your friends should be their own person, and should compliment you, not complete you!

Blessings,
Tone For Real!