One of my favorite ways to describe myself in the past was "spontaneous".  This was a cutesy way of saying, "I have committment issues".  When I made plans, I would either cancel or be late.  Others may have canceled too, but this whole 'spontaneous" label kept me from being locked-in to being held accountable.

As a Friend, one thing that we must be is accountable.  If we say that we are going to do something, we should be able to do it.  Being a man or woman of your word is important in any relationship.  It allows people to trust you and gives you the right to be deemed trustworthy.  As a friend people are entrusting you with their feelings, their time and who they really are.  If you are inconsistent, then it may come across that you cannot be trusted with sincerity; you may only be trusted with superficiality.

Just recently I was watching David G. Evans, a Preacher on The Word Network, and he was talking about relationships.  He said that, "stability breeds security and instability breeds insecurity".  As soon as I heard the words, it hit me.  This has been the problem with so many of the relationships I've had in the past.  Even with Tonish.  For so long, she didn't know what to expect from me, so after a while she stopped expecting anything.  I was consistently inconsistent.   And in being inconsistent, I had developed a pattern of insecurity in our friendship.  And in many other relationships.

In certain instances, it was a defense mechanism.  It was a way to keep me from being hurt, but eventually it became a character trait.  I am so glad that with age and time, I have been able to mature.  I no longer feel the need to be defensive and "committment phobic" because I now know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose".  Tonish and my friendship has evolved over the years into something that is more consistent and less "spontaneous".  And I am so glad that we have overcome that issue.

Be Blessed
Really Mo