As the New Year rapidly approaches and the current year gracefully wanes, people will be looking forward to creating New Year's resolutions. But Tone and I would ask that you refrain from coming up with resolutions and to take time setting attainable goals and doing some other RE words; reflect, re-evaluate and restore. These 3 ultimately will lead to resolution, but it can also help resolve issues that you still may think are open issues, but really aren't.
1. Reflect
Think back to January 1, 2011. What have you done since then? Write it all down, so you can reflect effectively. Have you grown? Do you see improvement? Did you do what you said you would do? If you haven't, you still have the coming year to add it to your "to do" list. When you reflect, make sure that you are focusing on the positive. Don't focus so much on the negative. Do not discount the negative if it was part of your year, but learn from it. Don't dwell on it. Move on from there and know there is so much more ahead for you.
2. Re-evaluate
The negative things that may have happened had reasons. Think about the cause and reevaluate if you need to deal with those same issues this year. Do you want to bring in the new year the same way? Do you need the same people in your life? and if so, do you need them so close to you? Rethink the way you handled certain situations? Could you have handled them better? or Did you do the right thing? if you believe you have done things correctly then make no changes. Continue on the path that you have been on. It seems to be working for you.
3. Restore
Bring yourself back to the days of your youth. Learn to take care of yourself; mind, body and spirit. The bible tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of our mind" (rom 12:2) it also asks us "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...?" (1cor 6:19) and gives us the command to" be renewed in the spirit of your mind" (eph 4:23), so that lets us know that we need to take care of ourselves. Bring restoration to your life, so that you can accomplish the goals that you set for the new year. There is no use setting goals if you haven't taken care of yourself because you won't be able to enjoy your accomplishments.
So, you will resolve some things in the new year, thus resulting in a resolution. But let's set goals and leave the resolving for our achievements to take care of.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Give Love on Christmas Day!
Mo and I have spent um, several Christmas holidays together. When we met, in the 7th grade, we bonded right away. So, literally that following Christmas, I was at her grandmother's house. And I wasn't just there for food, I ended up going home with presents! This happened for a few years, until we thought we were grown:)
That was a difficult period of time in my house. We had been in the state for a year at that point, with no family. I know it was hard for my mother and sister as well because we had such a close extended family in Wisconsin. We celebrated all holidays together. We had potlucks and Round Robins once every month. So being here without family was tough.
Mo and I both come from very close knit families, and where someone is always welcome to join us. And our families both always try to help others in any way they could. Our parents taught us about being smart, and being kind! Mo's parents and brother ALWAYS considered me one of them. And still, today, it's the same. On the flipside, Mo knows that my mom is her "Mommy" too, and so on!
The cool thing is once we learned about the true reason for the season, it makes it easy to not focus on money or gifts. We are FRIENDS - that's a gift. So, we agree, don't get all pressured to buy people things that 1) you can't afford, and 2) are not from the heart. You know what I mean... You go buy a green sweater, cuz it was marked down, when you know that person can't stand the color! Or, you regift something that was given to you because you KNOW you will NEVER use that thing! (Now I don't mind regifting - but please make sure it makes sense!)
If you are buying a gift for a friend, this year, make it personal. Think about his/her interests. Recall things that person has mentioned to you in recent months. This year, do something that you know would make that person feel the LOVE. Love is actually in the details, so along with any gift giving, be sure to
Blessings!
Tone For Real
That was a difficult period of time in my house. We had been in the state for a year at that point, with no family. I know it was hard for my mother and sister as well because we had such a close extended family in Wisconsin. We celebrated all holidays together. We had potlucks and Round Robins once every month. So being here without family was tough.
Mo and I both come from very close knit families, and where someone is always welcome to join us. And our families both always try to help others in any way they could. Our parents taught us about being smart, and being kind! Mo's parents and brother ALWAYS considered me one of them. And still, today, it's the same. On the flipside, Mo knows that my mom is her "Mommy" too, and so on!
The cool thing is once we learned about the true reason for the season, it makes it easy to not focus on money or gifts. We are FRIENDS - that's a gift. So, we agree, don't get all pressured to buy people things that 1) you can't afford, and 2) are not from the heart. You know what I mean... You go buy a green sweater, cuz it was marked down, when you know that person can't stand the color! Or, you regift something that was given to you because you KNOW you will NEVER use that thing! (Now I don't mind regifting - but please make sure it makes sense!)
If you are buying a gift for a friend, this year, make it personal. Think about his/her interests. Recall things that person has mentioned to you in recent months. This year, do something that you know would make that person feel the LOVE. Love is actually in the details, so along with any gift giving, be sure to
Give Love On Christmas Day!
Blessings!
Tone For Real
Monday, December 19, 2011
Choose Positive over Negative
One characteristic that has always been mentally draining for Tone and I to deal with, in any relationship has been THE NEGATIVE person!!! This is one that neither of us can tolerate. We were both raised by very positive, encouraging and caring moms, who used words and behaviors that uplifted, esteemed and made those around them feel good. So naturally, this is what we look for in others. I know Tone said that Needy was high on the list of intolerables, but quite honestly I may have encountered a needy friend or two during my lifetime. I like to help, so I often attract this kind of person. But as long as someone eventually "Gets It" and doesn't wallow in self pity, I'm okay. BUT the person I really, really just cannot stomach is THE NEGATIVE person!
This person is the total downer. No matter what is going on in their life, your life or just in general, they are totally miserable. They cannot see any good in any situation and always want you to be aware that someone may have an ulterior motive for wanting to get close to you. It starts out as them letting you in on what they think they know about someone. Not realizing that, they are raising a red flag alright, but not about the person in question, but about the "messenger". My grandmother always told me that the same dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone. Meaning, while they are putting a "bug" in my ear, you better believe they are putting a "bug" in someone else's ear also; about me. Later on, it becomes a slam fest about any and everything you can think of. You buy a new dress and their response is, "that color doesn't look good on you. Why'd you get that?" They get a raise at work and their response is, "they only gave it to me to keep me quiet about what I know." A mutual friend has just gotten engaged and their response is, "he's only marrying her to cover up all the dirt he's doing." To that I say, "REALLY???? Come on! Life has to look better than this to you. Why are you so miserable? Don't you realize that as a man thinketh, so is he!"
Don't get me wrong I have been guilty myself of "forewarning" someone about someone else's past behaviors and I have learned my lesson from doing it. It only made me look bad and left the "receiver" looking at me as a trouble maker. Now, I keep my mouth closed. Tone always laughs at me when I tell her, "you don't always have to talk or share what you know". But I mean it. Especially if it is going to be negative. I will keep my mouth closed, so that everyone has a chance to decide on their own whether they want to continue a relationship or be done with one.
A few years ago Tonish and I had a mutual acquaintance that wanted to let one of us know that the other person was not friend-worthy. The person said that we ought to be careful around each other because we couldn't be trusted. Well, just recently we found out that, that same person created turmoil almost everywhere he/she went and even damaged relationships of their own with their negative words and behaviors. This person was upset with us both for separate reasons (that we were not even aware of), But the goal was to divide and conquer. Luckily, we had been through enough together that we knew what to do with the information. We chalked it up to Negative Person Syndrome.
When we see the negative coming our way...we usually exit...stage left! Save the drama (not for our mamas because they taught us better...lol). But we do save it for someone else that can do something about it. We pray about it, encourage one another and remind ourselves that just like there is good and positive out there. There is negative also. We don't want to become what we're fighting against, so its better to say nothing at times and keep it pushing!
Be Blessed
Really Mo
This person is the total downer. No matter what is going on in their life, your life or just in general, they are totally miserable. They cannot see any good in any situation and always want you to be aware that someone may have an ulterior motive for wanting to get close to you. It starts out as them letting you in on what they think they know about someone. Not realizing that, they are raising a red flag alright, but not about the person in question, but about the "messenger". My grandmother always told me that the same dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone. Meaning, while they are putting a "bug" in my ear, you better believe they are putting a "bug" in someone else's ear also; about me. Later on, it becomes a slam fest about any and everything you can think of. You buy a new dress and their response is, "that color doesn't look good on you. Why'd you get that?" They get a raise at work and their response is, "they only gave it to me to keep me quiet about what I know." A mutual friend has just gotten engaged and their response is, "he's only marrying her to cover up all the dirt he's doing." To that I say, "REALLY???? Come on! Life has to look better than this to you. Why are you so miserable? Don't you realize that as a man thinketh, so is he!"
Don't get me wrong I have been guilty myself of "forewarning" someone about someone else's past behaviors and I have learned my lesson from doing it. It only made me look bad and left the "receiver" looking at me as a trouble maker. Now, I keep my mouth closed. Tone always laughs at me when I tell her, "you don't always have to talk or share what you know". But I mean it. Especially if it is going to be negative. I will keep my mouth closed, so that everyone has a chance to decide on their own whether they want to continue a relationship or be done with one.
A few years ago Tonish and I had a mutual acquaintance that wanted to let one of us know that the other person was not friend-worthy. The person said that we ought to be careful around each other because we couldn't be trusted. Well, just recently we found out that, that same person created turmoil almost everywhere he/she went and even damaged relationships of their own with their negative words and behaviors. This person was upset with us both for separate reasons (that we were not even aware of), But the goal was to divide and conquer. Luckily, we had been through enough together that we knew what to do with the information. We chalked it up to Negative Person Syndrome.
When we see the negative coming our way...we usually exit...stage left! Save the drama (not for our mamas because they taught us better...lol). But we do save it for someone else that can do something about it. We pray about it, encourage one another and remind ourselves that just like there is good and positive out there. There is negative also. We don't want to become what we're fighting against, so its better to say nothing at times and keep it pushing!
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Needy vs. Need Me
Mo and I realize that there are certain types characteristics that can help or hurt FRIENDSHIPS. We will discuss some of those periodically in order to share how it did or did not affect our journey.
There are some people who are "needy". You know what I mean, not needy as in cash is low, or needing a babysitter. But needy, like "What are you doing now, and in the next 5 minutes, and the 5 minutes after that?" "What are you wearing?" "What's your favorite color?" "What would you do if you were me?" All of this and more makes one person too dependent on the other. He or she needs the other to make decisions, to basically tell them what to do. At first, you may feel like you're helping, like you're being there. But eventually, if it's unhealthy, you will get burned out, tired, and will start screening your calls, and not responding to texts, tweets, and facebook! The person will want to talk all day everyday, telling you ALL their problems, ALL their concerns, and then won't listen to sound advice to make things better. They also can't be relied on to hold your circumstances in confidence, nor can they help to bring you to positive results, because they are too focused on needing you to complete them, to think for them. They are almost like a leech, sucking and draining the energy out of you, and that is not healthy for you.
Mo and I have had moments where we may have been needy - but they were only moments of "temporary insanity". For example, last year, Mo was going through something, and it was days and days, and days. (Totally unlike us to let something take us under for too long...) So, after a while, I snapped her back and said, "look, we know better than this. This situation is up to God, so give it to HIM!" I encouraged her to begin reading positive things, the bible, and other books that filled our minds with positive things, and then I brought some books to her. I told her to speak life over the situation! Same for me, I was in a 4 year situation, and it consumed me. I was needy at points, because things would happen almost daily, and my venting started getting really tired. Mo had to show tough love to get me to snap out of it, telling me I was giving the other person power... and that "real bad boys move in silence", which meant to be quiet and let the other person destroy herself! It was hard, but it worked, life and death are in the power of the tongue! All I needed to do was be still, and quiet.
Needing someone is different than being needy. Over 26 years, we certainly have needed each other. During different stages of life, we relied on each other. There were also times when divine intervention made one of us do something like call the other, and we didn't realize the other one needed us. And many of those happened during some of our "separations"... But that's different. We know that NO MATTER WHAT, either of us can call the other at any given time, and we are there!
So, in the end, be sure that the people you may be calling friends are not needy in the respect that they need too much from you. Your friends should be their own person, and should compliment you, not complete you!
Blessings,
Tone For Real!
There are some people who are "needy". You know what I mean, not needy as in cash is low, or needing a babysitter. But needy, like "What are you doing now, and in the next 5 minutes, and the 5 minutes after that?" "What are you wearing?" "What's your favorite color?" "What would you do if you were me?" All of this and more makes one person too dependent on the other. He or she needs the other to make decisions, to basically tell them what to do. At first, you may feel like you're helping, like you're being there. But eventually, if it's unhealthy, you will get burned out, tired, and will start screening your calls, and not responding to texts, tweets, and facebook! The person will want to talk all day everyday, telling you ALL their problems, ALL their concerns, and then won't listen to sound advice to make things better. They also can't be relied on to hold your circumstances in confidence, nor can they help to bring you to positive results, because they are too focused on needing you to complete them, to think for them. They are almost like a leech, sucking and draining the energy out of you, and that is not healthy for you.
Mo and I have had moments where we may have been needy - but they were only moments of "temporary insanity". For example, last year, Mo was going through something, and it was days and days, and days. (Totally unlike us to let something take us under for too long...) So, after a while, I snapped her back and said, "look, we know better than this. This situation is up to God, so give it to HIM!" I encouraged her to begin reading positive things, the bible, and other books that filled our minds with positive things, and then I brought some books to her. I told her to speak life over the situation! Same for me, I was in a 4 year situation, and it consumed me. I was needy at points, because things would happen almost daily, and my venting started getting really tired. Mo had to show tough love to get me to snap out of it, telling me I was giving the other person power... and that "real bad boys move in silence", which meant to be quiet and let the other person destroy herself! It was hard, but it worked, life and death are in the power of the tongue! All I needed to do was be still, and quiet.
Needing someone is different than being needy. Over 26 years, we certainly have needed each other. During different stages of life, we relied on each other. There were also times when divine intervention made one of us do something like call the other, and we didn't realize the other one needed us. And many of those happened during some of our "separations"... But that's different. We know that NO MATTER WHAT, either of us can call the other at any given time, and we are there!
So, in the end, be sure that the people you may be calling friends are not needy in the respect that they need too much from you. Your friends should be their own person, and should compliment you, not complete you!
Blessings,
Tone For Real!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Joy and Laughter
Tone talked about our love of laughter; and there is nothing else that could possibly describe us more than laughter, especially when we are together. Sometimes I feel like we are a tag team of comedic expression because of the things that happen to us and in front of us. It's almost like God is saying, I know who would appreciate the humor in this situation; let me allow Tonish and Monique to see it, hear it or experience it.
You wouldn't believe the things that happen to us on a daily basis. We both are like, "really? This can't be real. I know I'm being punked" and instead of us getting all bent out of shape about the things we may not find funny initially, we kinda just let it roll off our shoulders and look for the latest reason to laugh. A lot of people would probably get angry and bitter, but we have learned to embrace the situation, laugh about it and move on. That's all you Can do sometimes. It makes life so much easier.
I can tell when we are in certain places, it drives people crazy because we laugh so much. But its just who we are from the core. We're not being obnoxious when we're laughing, but we seem to have found a commonality in joy. I can almost guarantee that every conversation we have there is going to be laughter. Even serious situations gets us laughing.
I've noticed that we both laugh when we're nervous, when we make mistakes (almost as if we're laughing at ourselves) and also when we don't know what else to do. Don't get me wrong, we're not going around all day guffawing at everything we see like two goof balls. I think what it is, is that we enjoy each other's presence, we enjoy all the moments life itself has to offer and we enjoy being happy.
Do we have moments of sadness, fear, anger or pain? Yes. Do we "live" in any of those moments? No. Why? Because living life is too much fun and we've decided to exhibit joy even in our worse moments.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
You wouldn't believe the things that happen to us on a daily basis. We both are like, "really? This can't be real. I know I'm being punked" and instead of us getting all bent out of shape about the things we may not find funny initially, we kinda just let it roll off our shoulders and look for the latest reason to laugh. A lot of people would probably get angry and bitter, but we have learned to embrace the situation, laugh about it and move on. That's all you Can do sometimes. It makes life so much easier.
I can tell when we are in certain places, it drives people crazy because we laugh so much. But its just who we are from the core. We're not being obnoxious when we're laughing, but we seem to have found a commonality in joy. I can almost guarantee that every conversation we have there is going to be laughter. Even serious situations gets us laughing.
I've noticed that we both laugh when we're nervous, when we make mistakes (almost as if we're laughing at ourselves) and also when we don't know what else to do. Don't get me wrong, we're not going around all day guffawing at everything we see like two goof balls. I think what it is, is that we enjoy each other's presence, we enjoy all the moments life itself has to offer and we enjoy being happy.
Do we have moments of sadness, fear, anger or pain? Yes. Do we "live" in any of those moments? No. Why? Because living life is too much fun and we've decided to exhibit joy even in our worse moments.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Laughter keeps us MEDICATED!
Laughter really is medicine for the soul! One thing that keeps us sane is our ability to LAUGH!
Mo and I have a love for life. We like to have a good time, we like to enjoy ourselves, and have fun. We have this instinctive ability to get clues from another, and even laugh with our eyes! In her office, she has the words, Live, Laugh, Love - this is her!
We like the same kinds of movies, silly chick flicks with really zany humor! We like sitcoms that are really FUNNY! Mo can remember things much better than me though, and even won a bet last year when I thought a certain joke was by Cheryl Underwood and she KNEW it was Adele Givins! While we were in school, I used to try to go home on weekends and tape DEF COMEDY JAM, so I could bring it back to school. We would keep watching it over and over again and just laugh like we hadn't seen it already.
Mo, it seems, has always been able to make me laugh more, though. She's able to think REALLY fast, and that quick wit is something else. But when she laughs, it's for real! It's genuine. I tend to sometimes over-think things... I may want to laugh, but I am the one more apt to hold it in... This is where we balance - she cracks me up! When I tend to get too deep, she lightens it up. I am the one to dissect things, she just has this ability to shake it off with the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" attitude. I'm getting there... Pray for me... LOL!
Even yesterday, I was on a business call, and Mo was making funny faces at me, which of course, broke up my speech because I was trying not to laugh! I know the guy was wondering, "What's wrong with this lady, and has she started hitting up the EGG NOG, or what?" There was absolutely no reason for her to do that (and shame, shame, shame), but it was FUNNY, and we laughed even harder when I hung up!
It seems we've been like this forever; able to make each other laugh! Way back in the 7th grade, this helped to lay the foundation... For us, it's safe to laugh with and at one another. There is no judgement, probably because we have always found the same things to be funny. It's no surprise that both of our husbands have the ability to make us laugh too!
We have done some CRAZY things, and we can now look back at the clothes (yes, we've dressed alike on many occasions), the names (Tone-Luv and Mo-Ski in the place to be), the places (Riverside - not Six Flags, Mr. Pizza, getting stuck at the movies in East Hartford), the people (I'm not even going there today!) and so many other things and it cracks us up!
Laughter is important, healthy, and necessary in any relationship, otherwise, things will get very boring. And let's just face it, who wants to be bored with someone else... you may as well be alone:)
Tone
For real
Mo and I have a love for life. We like to have a good time, we like to enjoy ourselves, and have fun. We have this instinctive ability to get clues from another, and even laugh with our eyes! In her office, she has the words, Live, Laugh, Love - this is her!
We like the same kinds of movies, silly chick flicks with really zany humor! We like sitcoms that are really FUNNY! Mo can remember things much better than me though, and even won a bet last year when I thought a certain joke was by Cheryl Underwood and she KNEW it was Adele Givins! While we were in school, I used to try to go home on weekends and tape DEF COMEDY JAM, so I could bring it back to school. We would keep watching it over and over again and just laugh like we hadn't seen it already.
Mo, it seems, has always been able to make me laugh more, though. She's able to think REALLY fast, and that quick wit is something else. But when she laughs, it's for real! It's genuine. I tend to sometimes over-think things... I may want to laugh, but I am the one more apt to hold it in... This is where we balance - she cracks me up! When I tend to get too deep, she lightens it up. I am the one to dissect things, she just has this ability to shake it off with the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" attitude. I'm getting there... Pray for me... LOL!
Even yesterday, I was on a business call, and Mo was making funny faces at me, which of course, broke up my speech because I was trying not to laugh! I know the guy was wondering, "What's wrong with this lady, and has she started hitting up the EGG NOG, or what?" There was absolutely no reason for her to do that (and shame, shame, shame), but it was FUNNY, and we laughed even harder when I hung up!
It seems we've been like this forever; able to make each other laugh! Way back in the 7th grade, this helped to lay the foundation... For us, it's safe to laugh with and at one another. There is no judgement, probably because we have always found the same things to be funny. It's no surprise that both of our husbands have the ability to make us laugh too!
We have done some CRAZY things, and we can now look back at the clothes (yes, we've dressed alike on many occasions), the names (Tone-Luv and Mo-Ski in the place to be), the places (Riverside - not Six Flags, Mr. Pizza, getting stuck at the movies in East Hartford), the people (I'm not even going there today!) and so many other things and it cracks us up!
Laughter is important, healthy, and necessary in any relationship, otherwise, things will get very boring. And let's just face it, who wants to be bored with someone else... you may as well be alone:)
Tone
For real
Monday, December 5, 2011
What's It All About???
Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. There is a popular saying, "People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". The funny thing is that each of these are true for Mo and I.
We have certainly been in each other's lives for reasons. There have been specific times when either of us needed something that the other could deliver... humor, guidance, or even encouragement to "get in your car, Tone and drive home" when I wanted to defend myself:) (I didn't want her to say that, I even thought she would say the opposite which is why I called HER!) But God has a way of making us look back and laugh.
There have been many seasons in our friendship. I like to look at them as Middle School, High School, College, and Beyond!
Middle School, we couldn't be closer! This was our opportunity to lay the foundation. We got to know each other before we completely knew ourselves. So, I learned about her while I was learning about myself. This is when we LIVED in two homes, hers and mine. Our mothers were so good about supporting our friendship, Mo being the only girl, and me the youngest of two girls in the home. While we had plenty of older cousins and family, Mo and I were together almost all the time... All day in school, and then after school we went to either of our homes. Here is when we became Salt N Pepa! The music was important, the times were important, our education was important, and we grew together.
High school, I moved to Milwaukee mid-year, and this was our first seasonal experience. We still communicated, but we were young. This is where it was a struggle to maintain communication. BUT WE DID. I moved back to Connecticut, but we were still at different high schools. She was even my junior prom "date" (because my boyfriend made me mad!)When I was looking at colleges, I told Mo about where I applied, and I think I told her to come with me... (But of course I can't remember:) Nonethless, she applied and off to college we went!
College was going to be exciting, fun, adventurous, and more! We were Salt N Pepa back together again! But this time, it was more interesting. We weren't kids anymore. We were GROWN, 18 years old! We found it wasn't as easy as we thought... It wasn't bad, just not always easy... Try living with another person... Get it??? We had the chance to find out we weren't exactly the same, different interests, different hobbies, and so we gave each other the chance to explore those things.
These have been seasons in our lives that others would have just accepted the relationship to be a distant memory. But there is a reason for the seasons of our lives. Get it? It was divine order that allowed us to take time when we hurt each other, to allow each other the freedom to be who we are, to laugh with and at each other, and this, has allowed us to be friends for a lifetime!
We have certainly been in each other's lives for reasons. There have been specific times when either of us needed something that the other could deliver... humor, guidance, or even encouragement to "get in your car, Tone and drive home" when I wanted to defend myself:) (I didn't want her to say that, I even thought she would say the opposite which is why I called HER!) But God has a way of making us look back and laugh.
There have been many seasons in our friendship. I like to look at them as Middle School, High School, College, and Beyond!
Middle School, we couldn't be closer! This was our opportunity to lay the foundation. We got to know each other before we completely knew ourselves. So, I learned about her while I was learning about myself. This is when we LIVED in two homes, hers and mine. Our mothers were so good about supporting our friendship, Mo being the only girl, and me the youngest of two girls in the home. While we had plenty of older cousins and family, Mo and I were together almost all the time... All day in school, and then after school we went to either of our homes. Here is when we became Salt N Pepa! The music was important, the times were important, our education was important, and we grew together.
High school, I moved to Milwaukee mid-year, and this was our first seasonal experience. We still communicated, but we were young. This is where it was a struggle to maintain communication. BUT WE DID. I moved back to Connecticut, but we were still at different high schools. She was even my junior prom "date" (because my boyfriend made me mad!)When I was looking at colleges, I told Mo about where I applied, and I think I told her to come with me... (But of course I can't remember:) Nonethless, she applied and off to college we went!
College was going to be exciting, fun, adventurous, and more! We were Salt N Pepa back together again! But this time, it was more interesting. We weren't kids anymore. We were GROWN, 18 years old! We found it wasn't as easy as we thought... It wasn't bad, just not always easy... Try living with another person... Get it??? We had the chance to find out we weren't exactly the same, different interests, different hobbies, and so we gave each other the chance to explore those things.
These have been seasons in our lives that others would have just accepted the relationship to be a distant memory. But there is a reason for the seasons of our lives. Get it? It was divine order that allowed us to take time when we hurt each other, to allow each other the freedom to be who we are, to laugh with and at each other, and this, has allowed us to be friends for a lifetime!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Spiritual Compass
One of the main things that has kept us as friends is that we have allowed one another time and space to grow, search and appreciate the other. At different times in our lives we were pulled away either by distance, mutual agreement or a preoccupation with other relationships. Although we saw each other everyday when we first began our friendship (in seventh grade) and even today, it hasn't always been that way. Life has brought us both on separate paths that didn't always include the other person. But, we would always stay in touch and make sure we "checked in". Whether it was just an "I was thinking about you today" (usually Tone) or "Can you do me a favor?" (usually me), we always managed to keep the other in the "loop" and always had a "word" to keep us grounded.
In 9th and 10th grade, we lived in separate cities (Milwaukee and Hartford). We spoke on the phone and wrote letters, but it wasn't the same. When you're in high school out of sight is out of mind. Tone eventually moved back to CT and we picked up right where we left off. We both had gone through our own transformation periods and we were able to share our experiences.
During college, we were roommates, but we both began to choose different paths. Tone didn't always agree with some of the decisions I made or the people I chose to hang out with, so she would keep her distance and I would give her that space. I also didn't always feel comfortable around certain individuals she chose to hang out with because I wanted to be me without reservation. So we agreed to disagree when it came to certain people and situations. We communicated a little less and for a time after this we really chose different lifestyles altogether. It was truly a learning experience for us both about who we were as individuals and who we were becoming in this world.
After I got engaged in 2000, I called her and asked her to be my Matron of Honor (she was already married) because although I had new "friends" and associates, I felt there was no one who could appreciate the responsibility of the position more than her. She was surprised because I had kept her far away from where I was at that time (physically and spiritually), but she still accepted and stepped up, just like it was 1986. After the wedding, I moved to Philly from 2001 to 2006. We talked on the phone every now and then and we even visited one another. We were always excited to hear from each other because we were adults and so much was going on that was similar that we always had something to talk about.
When I moved back she was one of the only people that did not question my choice, but she offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE. And when she made a difficult choice that everyone else questioned, I also offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE.
The moral of the story is: When life takes you and your friend in separate directions, make sure you have a spiritual compass that can always lead you back to the right direction.
Be Blessed
In 9th and 10th grade, we lived in separate cities (Milwaukee and Hartford). We spoke on the phone and wrote letters, but it wasn't the same. When you're in high school out of sight is out of mind. Tone eventually moved back to CT and we picked up right where we left off. We both had gone through our own transformation periods and we were able to share our experiences.
During college, we were roommates, but we both began to choose different paths. Tone didn't always agree with some of the decisions I made or the people I chose to hang out with, so she would keep her distance and I would give her that space. I also didn't always feel comfortable around certain individuals she chose to hang out with because I wanted to be me without reservation. So we agreed to disagree when it came to certain people and situations. We communicated a little less and for a time after this we really chose different lifestyles altogether. It was truly a learning experience for us both about who we were as individuals and who we were becoming in this world.
When I moved back she was one of the only people that did not question my choice, but she offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE. And when she made a difficult choice that everyone else questioned, I also offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE.
The moral of the story is: When life takes you and your friend in separate directions, make sure you have a spiritual compass that can always lead you back to the right direction.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Friday, December 2, 2011
Friendship and Lessons Learned
Well, where do I begin? My best friend of 26 years said to me that we should create a blog. "A blog?", I said, "About what"? "About Friendship!"! she said. Now that is something we both know about and can certainly blog about. We have been friends since 7th grade and we have gone through just about everything together...from puberty to raising teens of our own. Our lives have often been parallel, but us as individuals are almost completely different. We enjoy some of the same leisure activities, our husbands work in the same profession and we work together, but a lot of our ideals are totally different. I believe this is one of the things that keeps us together (as friends) and also pulls us apart (at least once a day)...smile...we really do love each other and make sure we always pull it back together and KEEP IT POSITIVE!
Our goal is to share lessons we've learned and experiences we've had to help other girls, guys, women and men who are struggling with friendship. We plan to keep it 100% real, so people aren't under the impression that friendships never experience rough patches, friendship is unconditional, or that you have to run every time you don't agree with one another.
With that being said, We say," Welcome" and you are free to ask any question about friendship that you feel is necessary.
Really Mo
Time To Tell It ALL!
For several months, my FRIEND of 26 years and I have been brainstorming. We believe that there is something about our relationship - our friendship, that needs to be celebrated and shared. So, I had an idea today - to start a blog. I thought it would be great to share our journey.
So, I told Mo, "we (meaning her) should create a blog". She replied, "go ahead". Which meant 'we means you - it was your idea'... So, we both laughed, and before I could finish, she had it done! (I knew what I was doing... lol! She loves this stuff!)
Mo and I have been through so much; highs, lows, and in between... break-ups and make ups... but through it all, we have managed to find our "center". There has always been something that manages to bring us back... Don't you want to know what it is???
You have to hang around us for just a little bit to understand. We are honest, kind and compassionate, and we will shoot from the hip (with a little cushion). We are fun, a little mix of old-school and new-school. We like to look good and feel good! In the end, we believe that life has taught us many lessons; most we have paid immediate attention to, but some we did not. And because of those experiences, we have EARNED the right to share. And if we can help other friendships find their "center" then - let's GO!!!!!!
People need to remember that true friendship that can stand the test of time is a blessing to have. Mo and I frequently joke about the fact that many married couples don't last as long as we have!
So, join us, we will probably make you laugh and cry, and we may even surprise you. But you will feel SOMETHING REAL!
Tone
getting real!
So, I told Mo, "we (meaning her) should create a blog". She replied, "go ahead". Which meant 'we means you - it was your idea'... So, we both laughed, and before I could finish, she had it done! (I knew what I was doing... lol! She loves this stuff!)
Mo and I have been through so much; highs, lows, and in between... break-ups and make ups... but through it all, we have managed to find our "center". There has always been something that manages to bring us back... Don't you want to know what it is???
You have to hang around us for just a little bit to understand. We are honest, kind and compassionate, and we will shoot from the hip (with a little cushion). We are fun, a little mix of old-school and new-school. We like to look good and feel good! In the end, we believe that life has taught us many lessons; most we have paid immediate attention to, but some we did not. And because of those experiences, we have EARNED the right to share. And if we can help other friendships find their "center" then - let's GO!!!!!!
People need to remember that true friendship that can stand the test of time is a blessing to have. Mo and I frequently joke about the fact that many married couples don't last as long as we have!
So, join us, we will probably make you laugh and cry, and we may even surprise you. But you will feel SOMETHING REAL!
Tone
getting real!
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