Funny thing happened... I thought it was Mo's turn all this time... And it's my turn - sorry Mo! Here goes friends!
I was recently watching Ali, the movie based on arguably one of the greatest boxers of all time, Muhammed Ali. And what was so impactful to me was how during a fight, the people in his corner would support him. No matter what happened outside of the ring, while Ali was fighting, his "team" had his back. They saw him training, they saw him injured, they saw him vulnerable, and he had to trust them with his REAL self.
Ali would tell himself over and over that he was the greatest. Many believe it was because he was overly confident. I believe it was for 3 reasons; 1 - because he knew the power of speaking into the atmosphere; 2. because he must tell himself as part of his mental training; and 3. because he knew that his opponent would already have the same sentiments because of hearing Ali say over and over, "I'm the Greatest! I'm the Greatest", it was a mind trick.
Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not suggesting that we become prideful and cocky, because God will humble us. But during his fights, the people in his corner were saying to Ali the very things he had to tell himself - "You're the greatest! Come on Champ! Rumble Young man, Rumble!" When the fight was getting tough, when Ali was getting tired, when it may have seemed a little dim, those in his corner knew their role was to build him up, to encourage him to stay in the fight, to remind him of his plan.
This reminds me of the bible story when Joshua was fighting a battle. As Moses held his arms up, outstretched to God, Joshua and his men were winning. However, Moses began to get tired, and his arms became heavy so he lowered them - then Joshua and his men began losing the battle. However, 2 men in Moses' corner knew Moses' purpose, and saw the big picture. So they got a large rock for Moses to sit on, and they each held up one of Moses' arms. The people in his corner had his back, and Joshua won the battle.
So, I ask you, Who's In Your Corner? We pray the people in your corner - your friends, are able to celebrate you when times are good, but are safe for you to show injuries and vulnerabilities. We hope they can pray for you and lift you up when you're in a battle, and say the exact things you need to hear. Mo and I have a gift that even during periods of separation, different cities, different places in life - we knew that we were only one phone call away, and we would give exactly what the other needed. We still do that now! And that's what friends are for!
Blessings,
Tone For Real
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Are You Having an Autumn Experience
Growing up in New England, I have had the privilege of
witnessing the seasons change for over 30 years. Every year the pattern is the same; Winter,
Spring, Summer, Fall. The winter is when
everything is cold, frozen and you wanna stay bundled up. The Spring is when everything begins to grow
and blossoms. It’s like a fresh
awakening of the earth to show what is to come in the next season, summer! Summer is when the earth gets a chance to
Show off. It gets a chance to display
all of its blossoms and blooms and warm us up with the heat from the sun’s rays. The
gorgeous flowers, scents that are in the air and the beautiful green leaves
on every tree intensifies the joy and essence of summer. Then there is autumn. Autumn is when all those beautiful flowers begin
to wither away, the green leaves begin to change colors, they dry out and fall
to the ground leaving the trees to look as if they never had a blossom or bloom
of any kind on them. It’s not really hot
or cold it’s what some would call, luke-warm.
Really what is happening is that the earth is shedding the excess
baggage (if you will) to prepare for the heavy water, ice and freezing
temperatures that are about to take place in the winter season. It
really is a time of transition.
People come to New England from all over just to view the changing colors of the leaves, but they never come to see when they all fall to the ground. They don’t realize that, that is the best part. God is preparing the trees for the heaviness that is about to take place. The wind is blowing just enough to get the leaves to fall and the trees are getting ready for what is about to take place. He is positioning and equipping the trees to withstand the pressure of the cold winter months by lightening their load. With that being said, I wanna ask you, “Are you having an Autumn experience?”
People come to New England from all over just to view the changing colors of the leaves, but they never come to see when they all fall to the ground. They don’t realize that, that is the best part. God is preparing the trees for the heaviness that is about to take place. The wind is blowing just enough to get the leaves to fall and the trees are getting ready for what is about to take place. He is positioning and equipping the trees to withstand the pressure of the cold winter months by lightening their load. With that being said, I wanna ask you, “Are you having an Autumn experience?”
Job 39:11 - Will you rely on him for his great strength? Will
you leave your heavy work to him?
I know it seems like everything that could possibly go wrong has been
going wrong. You are losing friends,
money, time and influence (your leaves).
You’re looking at it as something negative. It leaves you feeling bare and naked before
the world, but really God is preparing you for the next cycle in the changing
seasons of your life. God is shaking the
leaves and allowing dead things to fall by the waste-side, so that when the
real pressures come you’ll be prepared. You'll be able to withstand the pressures of life.
When we look at the trees in the fall they look weak and
bare and like they would not be able to withstand the winds and the rain or the snow and the ice, but in fact it is just the opposite. By them getting rid of the dead weight it
actually frees them and allows more mobility to become limber, so that they can sway
when the winds are blowing. They will
bend but not break because their limbs are not weighed down. The sap inside of them has gone all the way
down to the roots to keep them grounded, so even if a limb is lost, they’ll
still stand. They are dependent upon God
to protect them and keep them when the Hurricanes, Snowstorms and Nor’easters
come.
This is what God requires of us. We need to shed the dead things and become naked before him. We need to allow the Word of God (our sap) that is down on the inside of us to root and ground us so that we cannot be moved in the time of trouble. We should fully rely on him to protect us and keep us when the storms of life come up.
This is what God requires of us. We need to shed the dead things and become naked before him. We need to allow the Word of God (our sap) that is down on the inside of us to root and ground us so that we cannot be moved in the time of trouble. We should fully rely on him to protect us and keep us when the storms of life come up.
Joel 3:10…let the weak say, I am strong.
The wonderful thing about the fall and winter is the fact that
Spring and Summer are soon to come. So after the
storms, after the rain and after the freezing cold, we know beyond a shadow of
a doubt, that all those things that were once dead and barren will soon
resurrect. You will see the budding of
leaves, flowers and life. Things will begin
to rise up again. The birds come back singing their songs,
the flowers begin to bloom and delight in the shining of the sun and the atmosphere is no longer cold and dark. Instead it’s bright and warm. We know that there is a season for everything
and that if we are having an Autumn experience, Winter, Spring and Summer are sure to
come.
Ecclesiates 3:1 - To every thing there is a season, and a
time to every purpose under the heaven.
Be Blessed!
Really Mo
Thursday, October 11, 2012
You Make Me Better!
I'm a movement by myself, but I'm a force when we're together. I'm good all by myself, but you make me better. Some may know this song, made popular by Ne-yo. And I have declared it one of my family's theme songs. However, Mo and I recently had a friendship conversation about it. Since 1985, when we are both on the same road, heading in the same direction, we are in sync, and some baaaaddd women!
Mo and I have similar goals. We want to be good wives and mothers. We want to live lives that would make God and our parents proud. We like to be positive, people builders; not ones who tear people down. And we want to fulfill our individual purposes and our individual dreams.
The best friendships are when people encourage one another. You ever try to stop doing anything, but the people you're around keep doing it? You ever try to start doing something, but the people around you won't? In fact, they can not understand why YOU'RE changing? That is so hard! And it makes life so difficult! We know first hand!
But, when Mo and I are both doing something positive, at the same time, the energy is kinetic. And kinetic energy is basically moving energy - like water or wind that is not still or stagnant but MOVING! We have found that we're most in sync, we're the strongest, and we're the fiercest when we're BOTH MOVING FORWARD!
PLEASE be sure that the friends in your life are making you better. If you're not on the same path, remember it's ok to take a step away to let them do them, and you do you. But try to surround yourself with people who are able to pour positivity, and to share in your steps to succeed. There is enough room at the top for all of us!
Tone
For Real
Mo and I have similar goals. We want to be good wives and mothers. We want to live lives that would make God and our parents proud. We like to be positive, people builders; not ones who tear people down. And we want to fulfill our individual purposes and our individual dreams.
The best friendships are when people encourage one another. You ever try to stop doing anything, but the people you're around keep doing it? You ever try to start doing something, but the people around you won't? In fact, they can not understand why YOU'RE changing? That is so hard! And it makes life so difficult! We know first hand!
But, when Mo and I are both doing something positive, at the same time, the energy is kinetic. And kinetic energy is basically moving energy - like water or wind that is not still or stagnant but MOVING! We have found that we're most in sync, we're the strongest, and we're the fiercest when we're BOTH MOVING FORWARD!
PLEASE be sure that the friends in your life are making you better. If you're not on the same path, remember it's ok to take a step away to let them do them, and you do you. But try to surround yourself with people who are able to pour positivity, and to share in your steps to succeed. There is enough room at the top for all of us!
Tone
For Real
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
We're Back!!!!!
We took a little time off, but we are back!!!! Since our hiatus, we have visited The Wendy show, sent our children to proms, watched our children graduate, brought our children to tournaments, welcomed our college-aged children back home, visited Lake George, New Jersey, Philly, DC, Atlanta, Maine, Orlando, New Hampshire, Delaware, Bahamas, Las Vegas and more. We have been busy collectively.
In life, there are many things that will be going on and we need to know when to take time off. We have to be flexible enough to roll with it, but wise enough to know when it is time to just sit down and take a break. So, that is what we did. We have tons to talk about in friendship, in life and in growing into an adult with responsibilities, goals, obstacles and wisdom.
As we welcome you back, we would like to broaden our topics. We want to discuss topics that are important to the everyday adult. We want to be as candid as possible with real life stories about us to allow our readers to understand and believe that you (the reader) are not the only one going through things. We all are. There are no perfect people, places or situations. Its all just one big puzzle for each one of us to figure out. Sometimes it takes one to figure out where the pieces go and sometimes it takes more than one. But the ultimate goal is to get the pieces together (in the correct positions). And if we happen to put them in the wrong place; well, then we try again. There is nothing wrong with that. Now is it?
So bare with us. Keep reading what we're writing and stay tuned for more.....
Really Mo
In life, there are many things that will be going on and we need to know when to take time off. We have to be flexible enough to roll with it, but wise enough to know when it is time to just sit down and take a break. So, that is what we did. We have tons to talk about in friendship, in life and in growing into an adult with responsibilities, goals, obstacles and wisdom.
As we welcome you back, we would like to broaden our topics. We want to discuss topics that are important to the everyday adult. We want to be as candid as possible with real life stories about us to allow our readers to understand and believe that you (the reader) are not the only one going through things. We all are. There are no perfect people, places or situations. Its all just one big puzzle for each one of us to figure out. Sometimes it takes one to figure out where the pieces go and sometimes it takes more than one. But the ultimate goal is to get the pieces together (in the correct positions). And if we happen to put them in the wrong place; well, then we try again. There is nothing wrong with that. Now is it?
So bare with us. Keep reading what we're writing and stay tuned for more.....
Really Mo
Monday, March 19, 2012
If You Don't Know Me By Now...
OK, So last night Mo and I went to an old school concert. One song beautifully sang was, "If You Don't Know Me By Now". While sitting there enjoying the entertainment, I thought of the fact that while the song is speaking of a romantic relationship, the title reminded me of what our Pastor has been teaching us; "Know them that labor among you" (part of 1 Thes 5:13). To want to get to know someone is a CHOICE! If you know someone, you KNOW what's true about their character!
Sometimes I wonder if Mo wrote the BOOK about me! Many times, I am pretty naive in my own reality. For example, before we attended an anger management course, I (honestly and sincerely) admitted to not getting angry. Mo checked me with a smile, "Yes you do! You were just angry about something yesterday!" And then she proceeded to remind me of my "episode"... While striving for perfection, I sometimes "forget" my imperfections. I think that drives Mo (and my husband) BANANAS! (Batting my eyes...LOL!)
But here's the deal. Get to know those who are among you, who you choose to spend time with. Know their likes and dislikes in order to accept and respect them. Know their dreams and goals in order to support, encourage, and pray for them. Know their passions and causes true to their hearts in order to expand your knowledge and find ways to help. Know their family, spouses, and children in order to extend the relationship to others. On the flip side, your FRIEND should want to know these things about you. If you are having a one-sided experience, it's just not gonna work.
Mo and I respect one another, because we have CHOSEN to KNOW each other- the good, the bad, the funny, the sad, the unrealistic, the naive, and yes, the ANGRY... LOL! It takes time, it takes emotions, and it takes maturity. But the payoff, is a blessing!
Tone
For Real
Sometimes I wonder if Mo wrote the BOOK about me! Many times, I am pretty naive in my own reality. For example, before we attended an anger management course, I (honestly and sincerely) admitted to not getting angry. Mo checked me with a smile, "Yes you do! You were just angry about something yesterday!" And then she proceeded to remind me of my "episode"... While striving for perfection, I sometimes "forget" my imperfections. I think that drives Mo (and my husband) BANANAS! (Batting my eyes...LOL!)
But here's the deal. Get to know those who are among you, who you choose to spend time with. Know their likes and dislikes in order to accept and respect them. Know their dreams and goals in order to support, encourage, and pray for them. Know their passions and causes true to their hearts in order to expand your knowledge and find ways to help. Know their family, spouses, and children in order to extend the relationship to others. On the flip side, your FRIEND should want to know these things about you. If you are having a one-sided experience, it's just not gonna work.
Mo and I respect one another, because we have CHOSEN to KNOW each other- the good, the bad, the funny, the sad, the unrealistic, the naive, and yes, the ANGRY... LOL! It takes time, it takes emotions, and it takes maturity. But the payoff, is a blessing!
Tone
For Real
Monday, February 27, 2012
One of my favorite ways to describe myself in the past was "spontaneous". This was a cutesy way of saying, "I have committment issues". When I made plans, I would either cancel or be late. Others may have canceled too, but this whole 'spontaneous" label kept me from being locked-in to being held accountable.
As a Friend, one thing that we must be is accountable. If we say that we are going to do something, we should be able to do it. Being a man or woman of your word is important in any relationship. It allows people to trust you and gives you the right to be deemed trustworthy. As a friend people are entrusting you with their feelings, their time and who they really are. If you are inconsistent, then it may come across that you cannot be trusted with sincerity; you may only be trusted with superficiality.
Just recently I was watching David G. Evans, a Preacher on The Word Network, and he was talking about relationships. He said that, "stability breeds security and instability breeds insecurity". As soon as I heard the words, it hit me. This has been the problem with so many of the relationships I've had in the past. Even with Tonish. For so long, she didn't know what to expect from me, so after a while she stopped expecting anything. I was consistently inconsistent. And in being inconsistent, I had developed a pattern of insecurity in our friendship. And in many other relationships.
In certain instances, it was a defense mechanism. It was a way to keep me from being hurt, but eventually it became a character trait. I am so glad that with age and time, I have been able to mature. I no longer feel the need to be defensive and "committment phobic" because I now know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". Tonish and my friendship has evolved over the years into something that is more consistent and less "spontaneous". And I am so glad that we have overcome that issue.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
As a Friend, one thing that we must be is accountable. If we say that we are going to do something, we should be able to do it. Being a man or woman of your word is important in any relationship. It allows people to trust you and gives you the right to be deemed trustworthy. As a friend people are entrusting you with their feelings, their time and who they really are. If you are inconsistent, then it may come across that you cannot be trusted with sincerity; you may only be trusted with superficiality.
Just recently I was watching David G. Evans, a Preacher on The Word Network, and he was talking about relationships. He said that, "stability breeds security and instability breeds insecurity". As soon as I heard the words, it hit me. This has been the problem with so many of the relationships I've had in the past. Even with Tonish. For so long, she didn't know what to expect from me, so after a while she stopped expecting anything. I was consistently inconsistent. And in being inconsistent, I had developed a pattern of insecurity in our friendship. And in many other relationships.
In certain instances, it was a defense mechanism. It was a way to keep me from being hurt, but eventually it became a character trait. I am so glad that with age and time, I have been able to mature. I no longer feel the need to be defensive and "committment phobic" because I now know that "all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose". Tonish and my friendship has evolved over the years into something that is more consistent and less "spontaneous". And I am so glad that we have overcome that issue.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Express Yourself - Let Me Be Me!!!
Life is so much easier when you have a friend who is on the same page with you. Why, because we know are safe to EXPRESS OURSELVES to each other!!!
You ever try to do something with someone, and it's like pulling teeth? You can't agree on what movie to go see, what place to meet for lunch, what cd to split your money for and buy? That will drive you BANANAS!!!!! Mo and I can say pratically anything! Funny, sad, angry, blah, whatever, and we know it's SAFE! While we have similar beliefs and values, we don't agree on a whole lot, but we kind of have a rhythm, and we can see what's important to the other.
But, we have been able to allow ourselves to be individuals, to evolve, to grow, and change! And we are both doing it! So we are living, laughing, and loving life, and it's so cool to be yourself with someone who understands where you were, where you are, and where you want to go!
The key is to ensure you have a safe place to Express Yourself. Anyone who knows us personally knows that we LOVE Salt N Pepa. They have a song "Express Yourself". The point of the song is that one person wants to be like someone else, but that person is trying to be like another person. It goes on and on... Mo and I NEVER had that issue. We were always free to be who we are! There was NEVER comparisons, envy, jealousy, EVER! Honestly, I know it's hard to believe, but it really is possible to have a friend who doesn't want anything from you! She knew she was safe with me, and I knew I was safe with her. I'm not saying things weren't difficult as we evolved individually, but even then, we were able to allow each other the time and space without taking things personally. Her time and space that was necessary for her had NOTHING to do with me. And vice versa...
We both are set on the next phase of our lives! We are intentional on being better women, better wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends and so on. Because of that, we are free to Express Ourselves, requiring the other to encourage, inspire, motivate, give tough love and a funny joke.
Tone
For Real
You ever try to do something with someone, and it's like pulling teeth? You can't agree on what movie to go see, what place to meet for lunch, what cd to split your money for and buy? That will drive you BANANAS!!!!! Mo and I can say pratically anything! Funny, sad, angry, blah, whatever, and we know it's SAFE! While we have similar beliefs and values, we don't agree on a whole lot, but we kind of have a rhythm, and we can see what's important to the other.
But, we have been able to allow ourselves to be individuals, to evolve, to grow, and change! And we are both doing it! So we are living, laughing, and loving life, and it's so cool to be yourself with someone who understands where you were, where you are, and where you want to go!
The key is to ensure you have a safe place to Express Yourself. Anyone who knows us personally knows that we LOVE Salt N Pepa. They have a song "Express Yourself". The point of the song is that one person wants to be like someone else, but that person is trying to be like another person. It goes on and on... Mo and I NEVER had that issue. We were always free to be who we are! There was NEVER comparisons, envy, jealousy, EVER! Honestly, I know it's hard to believe, but it really is possible to have a friend who doesn't want anything from you! She knew she was safe with me, and I knew I was safe with her. I'm not saying things weren't difficult as we evolved individually, but even then, we were able to allow each other the time and space without taking things personally. Her time and space that was necessary for her had NOTHING to do with me. And vice versa...
We both are set on the next phase of our lives! We are intentional on being better women, better wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, friends and so on. Because of that, we are free to Express Ourselves, requiring the other to encourage, inspire, motivate, give tough love and a funny joke.
At the end of the day, your friend has to let you be you!
Express Yourself
Tone
For Real
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Time waits for no man (or woman)
Like with any relationship, a friendship needs time to be nurtured. If you are a true friend you have to make time for one another to show that you care. It doesn't have to be everyday, every week or every month, but you have to make an effort to show that you are still thinking of your friend and you want he/she to be in your life.
I have always been a person who likes to do things in my own time, but I now realize that, that is selfish. Every relationship you have is a give and take. Its not always you taking when you want to. You have to give a little bit too. And part of the giving is including, your time. You have to think about your friend and remember how you became friends in the first place. More than likely, it was a great amount of time that you guys spent together to be able to find out about one another and were able to establish that bond. As time goes on, we get older and our commitments change. We may not be able to do the same things we did when we were younger, but you can learn to do new things together. And again, I'm talking about a friendship, but this goes for any relationship.
When the dynamics of your life change, you just figure out how you can modify your actions to include those that mean something to you. It is not necessary to cut people out simply because you don't have time. You can make adjustments. Include your friend's family in on your family events. Ask if she and her spouse (or he and his spouse) would like to go out with you and yours. It may develop a relationship between the spouses, between the people you love and also between you and their spouse. You never know. But when you choose to make time and be inclusive of others, you definitely will accomplish the goal of letting people know that you care and that you do want them in your life in some way.
So, the moral of this post is: to keep any relationship, you need to spend time with one another. And in doing so, you just might make new friends.
Be Blessed
I have always been a person who likes to do things in my own time, but I now realize that, that is selfish. Every relationship you have is a give and take. Its not always you taking when you want to. You have to give a little bit too. And part of the giving is including, your time. You have to think about your friend and remember how you became friends in the first place. More than likely, it was a great amount of time that you guys spent together to be able to find out about one another and were able to establish that bond. As time goes on, we get older and our commitments change. We may not be able to do the same things we did when we were younger, but you can learn to do new things together. And again, I'm talking about a friendship, but this goes for any relationship.
When the dynamics of your life change, you just figure out how you can modify your actions to include those that mean something to you. It is not necessary to cut people out simply because you don't have time. You can make adjustments. Include your friend's family in on your family events. Ask if she and her spouse (or he and his spouse) would like to go out with you and yours. It may develop a relationship between the spouses, between the people you love and also between you and their spouse. You never know. But when you choose to make time and be inclusive of others, you definitely will accomplish the goal of letting people know that you care and that you do want them in your life in some way.
So, the moral of this post is: to keep any relationship, you need to spend time with one another. And in doing so, you just might make new friends.
Be Blessed
Monday, January 9, 2012
The Law of Attraction
I was never a strong Science student, but one thing I found to be interesting was the Law of Attraction.
Think about it, when you're in school, your friends are most like you - same school, same study habits, same outlook on life. You rarely find someone who is a good student having a CLOSE friendship with someone who skips class all the time and fails most classes.
So, while keeping resolutions or just focusing on goals for the year, we would encourage you to, start with the MAN (or woman) IN THE MIRROR! What are you worth?
We are worthy of people who will be genuine, honest, and concerned about our well-being. People who share our belief and our faith. Be careful who you attract, you may not be able to get rid of them Who you attract into your life is in harmony with your real thoughts of your worth.
Tone
For Real
Think about it, when you're in school, your friends are most like you - same school, same study habits, same outlook on life. You rarely find someone who is a good student having a CLOSE friendship with someone who skips class all the time and fails most classes.
So, while keeping resolutions or just focusing on goals for the year, we would encourage you to, start with the MAN (or woman) IN THE MIRROR! What are you worth?
- What is your value? Are you always available for everyone to use, or are you available only to those who are concerned about you?
- Do you attract or draw just anybody, or those with whom you can share inspiration, positivity, motivation and encouragement.
- Can you compliment your "friends", and can they compliment you?
We are worthy of people who will be genuine, honest, and concerned about our well-being. People who share our belief and our faith. Be careful who you attract, you may not be able to get rid of them Who you attract into your life is in harmony with your real thoughts of your worth.
Tone
For Real
Thursday, December 29, 2011
RE: New Year
As the New Year rapidly approaches and the current year gracefully wanes, people will be looking forward to creating New Year's resolutions. But Tone and I would ask that you refrain from coming up with resolutions and to take time setting attainable goals and doing some other RE words; reflect, re-evaluate and restore. These 3 ultimately will lead to resolution, but it can also help resolve issues that you still may think are open issues, but really aren't.
1. Reflect
Think back to January 1, 2011. What have you done since then? Write it all down, so you can reflect effectively. Have you grown? Do you see improvement? Did you do what you said you would do? If you haven't, you still have the coming year to add it to your "to do" list. When you reflect, make sure that you are focusing on the positive. Don't focus so much on the negative. Do not discount the negative if it was part of your year, but learn from it. Don't dwell on it. Move on from there and know there is so much more ahead for you.
2. Re-evaluate
The negative things that may have happened had reasons. Think about the cause and reevaluate if you need to deal with those same issues this year. Do you want to bring in the new year the same way? Do you need the same people in your life? and if so, do you need them so close to you? Rethink the way you handled certain situations? Could you have handled them better? or Did you do the right thing? if you believe you have done things correctly then make no changes. Continue on the path that you have been on. It seems to be working for you.
3. Restore
Bring yourself back to the days of your youth. Learn to take care of yourself; mind, body and spirit. The bible tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of our mind" (rom 12:2) it also asks us "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...?" (1cor 6:19) and gives us the command to" be renewed in the spirit of your mind" (eph 4:23), so that lets us know that we need to take care of ourselves. Bring restoration to your life, so that you can accomplish the goals that you set for the new year. There is no use setting goals if you haven't taken care of yourself because you won't be able to enjoy your accomplishments.
So, you will resolve some things in the new year, thus resulting in a resolution. But let's set goals and leave the resolving for our achievements to take care of.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
1. Reflect
Think back to January 1, 2011. What have you done since then? Write it all down, so you can reflect effectively. Have you grown? Do you see improvement? Did you do what you said you would do? If you haven't, you still have the coming year to add it to your "to do" list. When you reflect, make sure that you are focusing on the positive. Don't focus so much on the negative. Do not discount the negative if it was part of your year, but learn from it. Don't dwell on it. Move on from there and know there is so much more ahead for you.
2. Re-evaluate
The negative things that may have happened had reasons. Think about the cause and reevaluate if you need to deal with those same issues this year. Do you want to bring in the new year the same way? Do you need the same people in your life? and if so, do you need them so close to you? Rethink the way you handled certain situations? Could you have handled them better? or Did you do the right thing? if you believe you have done things correctly then make no changes. Continue on the path that you have been on. It seems to be working for you.
3. Restore
Bring yourself back to the days of your youth. Learn to take care of yourself; mind, body and spirit. The bible tells us to "be transformed by the renewing of our mind" (rom 12:2) it also asks us "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit...?" (1cor 6:19) and gives us the command to" be renewed in the spirit of your mind" (eph 4:23), so that lets us know that we need to take care of ourselves. Bring restoration to your life, so that you can accomplish the goals that you set for the new year. There is no use setting goals if you haven't taken care of yourself because you won't be able to enjoy your accomplishments.
So, you will resolve some things in the new year, thus resulting in a resolution. But let's set goals and leave the resolving for our achievements to take care of.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Give Love on Christmas Day!
Mo and I have spent um, several Christmas holidays together. When we met, in the 7th grade, we bonded right away. So, literally that following Christmas, I was at her grandmother's house. And I wasn't just there for food, I ended up going home with presents! This happened for a few years, until we thought we were grown:)
That was a difficult period of time in my house. We had been in the state for a year at that point, with no family. I know it was hard for my mother and sister as well because we had such a close extended family in Wisconsin. We celebrated all holidays together. We had potlucks and Round Robins once every month. So being here without family was tough.
Mo and I both come from very close knit families, and where someone is always welcome to join us. And our families both always try to help others in any way they could. Our parents taught us about being smart, and being kind! Mo's parents and brother ALWAYS considered me one of them. And still, today, it's the same. On the flipside, Mo knows that my mom is her "Mommy" too, and so on!
The cool thing is once we learned about the true reason for the season, it makes it easy to not focus on money or gifts. We are FRIENDS - that's a gift. So, we agree, don't get all pressured to buy people things that 1) you can't afford, and 2) are not from the heart. You know what I mean... You go buy a green sweater, cuz it was marked down, when you know that person can't stand the color! Or, you regift something that was given to you because you KNOW you will NEVER use that thing! (Now I don't mind regifting - but please make sure it makes sense!)
If you are buying a gift for a friend, this year, make it personal. Think about his/her interests. Recall things that person has mentioned to you in recent months. This year, do something that you know would make that person feel the LOVE. Love is actually in the details, so along with any gift giving, be sure to
Blessings!
Tone For Real
That was a difficult period of time in my house. We had been in the state for a year at that point, with no family. I know it was hard for my mother and sister as well because we had such a close extended family in Wisconsin. We celebrated all holidays together. We had potlucks and Round Robins once every month. So being here without family was tough.
Mo and I both come from very close knit families, and where someone is always welcome to join us. And our families both always try to help others in any way they could. Our parents taught us about being smart, and being kind! Mo's parents and brother ALWAYS considered me one of them. And still, today, it's the same. On the flipside, Mo knows that my mom is her "Mommy" too, and so on!
The cool thing is once we learned about the true reason for the season, it makes it easy to not focus on money or gifts. We are FRIENDS - that's a gift. So, we agree, don't get all pressured to buy people things that 1) you can't afford, and 2) are not from the heart. You know what I mean... You go buy a green sweater, cuz it was marked down, when you know that person can't stand the color! Or, you regift something that was given to you because you KNOW you will NEVER use that thing! (Now I don't mind regifting - but please make sure it makes sense!)
If you are buying a gift for a friend, this year, make it personal. Think about his/her interests. Recall things that person has mentioned to you in recent months. This year, do something that you know would make that person feel the LOVE. Love is actually in the details, so along with any gift giving, be sure to
Give Love On Christmas Day!
Blessings!
Tone For Real
Monday, December 19, 2011
Choose Positive over Negative
One characteristic that has always been mentally draining for Tone and I to deal with, in any relationship has been THE NEGATIVE person!!! This is one that neither of us can tolerate. We were both raised by very positive, encouraging and caring moms, who used words and behaviors that uplifted, esteemed and made those around them feel good. So naturally, this is what we look for in others. I know Tone said that Needy was high on the list of intolerables, but quite honestly I may have encountered a needy friend or two during my lifetime. I like to help, so I often attract this kind of person. But as long as someone eventually "Gets It" and doesn't wallow in self pity, I'm okay. BUT the person I really, really just cannot stomach is THE NEGATIVE person!
This person is the total downer. No matter what is going on in their life, your life or just in general, they are totally miserable. They cannot see any good in any situation and always want you to be aware that someone may have an ulterior motive for wanting to get close to you. It starts out as them letting you in on what they think they know about someone. Not realizing that, they are raising a red flag alright, but not about the person in question, but about the "messenger". My grandmother always told me that the same dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone. Meaning, while they are putting a "bug" in my ear, you better believe they are putting a "bug" in someone else's ear also; about me. Later on, it becomes a slam fest about any and everything you can think of. You buy a new dress and their response is, "that color doesn't look good on you. Why'd you get that?" They get a raise at work and their response is, "they only gave it to me to keep me quiet about what I know." A mutual friend has just gotten engaged and their response is, "he's only marrying her to cover up all the dirt he's doing." To that I say, "REALLY???? Come on! Life has to look better than this to you. Why are you so miserable? Don't you realize that as a man thinketh, so is he!"
Don't get me wrong I have been guilty myself of "forewarning" someone about someone else's past behaviors and I have learned my lesson from doing it. It only made me look bad and left the "receiver" looking at me as a trouble maker. Now, I keep my mouth closed. Tone always laughs at me when I tell her, "you don't always have to talk or share what you know". But I mean it. Especially if it is going to be negative. I will keep my mouth closed, so that everyone has a chance to decide on their own whether they want to continue a relationship or be done with one.
A few years ago Tonish and I had a mutual acquaintance that wanted to let one of us know that the other person was not friend-worthy. The person said that we ought to be careful around each other because we couldn't be trusted. Well, just recently we found out that, that same person created turmoil almost everywhere he/she went and even damaged relationships of their own with their negative words and behaviors. This person was upset with us both for separate reasons (that we were not even aware of), But the goal was to divide and conquer. Luckily, we had been through enough together that we knew what to do with the information. We chalked it up to Negative Person Syndrome.
When we see the negative coming our way...we usually exit...stage left! Save the drama (not for our mamas because they taught us better...lol). But we do save it for someone else that can do something about it. We pray about it, encourage one another and remind ourselves that just like there is good and positive out there. There is negative also. We don't want to become what we're fighting against, so its better to say nothing at times and keep it pushing!
Be Blessed
Really Mo
This person is the total downer. No matter what is going on in their life, your life or just in general, they are totally miserable. They cannot see any good in any situation and always want you to be aware that someone may have an ulterior motive for wanting to get close to you. It starts out as them letting you in on what they think they know about someone. Not realizing that, they are raising a red flag alright, but not about the person in question, but about the "messenger". My grandmother always told me that the same dog that will bring a bone will carry a bone. Meaning, while they are putting a "bug" in my ear, you better believe they are putting a "bug" in someone else's ear also; about me. Later on, it becomes a slam fest about any and everything you can think of. You buy a new dress and their response is, "that color doesn't look good on you. Why'd you get that?" They get a raise at work and their response is, "they only gave it to me to keep me quiet about what I know." A mutual friend has just gotten engaged and their response is, "he's only marrying her to cover up all the dirt he's doing." To that I say, "REALLY???? Come on! Life has to look better than this to you. Why are you so miserable? Don't you realize that as a man thinketh, so is he!"
Don't get me wrong I have been guilty myself of "forewarning" someone about someone else's past behaviors and I have learned my lesson from doing it. It only made me look bad and left the "receiver" looking at me as a trouble maker. Now, I keep my mouth closed. Tone always laughs at me when I tell her, "you don't always have to talk or share what you know". But I mean it. Especially if it is going to be negative. I will keep my mouth closed, so that everyone has a chance to decide on their own whether they want to continue a relationship or be done with one.
A few years ago Tonish and I had a mutual acquaintance that wanted to let one of us know that the other person was not friend-worthy. The person said that we ought to be careful around each other because we couldn't be trusted. Well, just recently we found out that, that same person created turmoil almost everywhere he/she went and even damaged relationships of their own with their negative words and behaviors. This person was upset with us both for separate reasons (that we were not even aware of), But the goal was to divide and conquer. Luckily, we had been through enough together that we knew what to do with the information. We chalked it up to Negative Person Syndrome.
When we see the negative coming our way...we usually exit...stage left! Save the drama (not for our mamas because they taught us better...lol). But we do save it for someone else that can do something about it. We pray about it, encourage one another and remind ourselves that just like there is good and positive out there. There is negative also. We don't want to become what we're fighting against, so its better to say nothing at times and keep it pushing!
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Needy vs. Need Me
Mo and I realize that there are certain types characteristics that can help or hurt FRIENDSHIPS. We will discuss some of those periodically in order to share how it did or did not affect our journey.
There are some people who are "needy". You know what I mean, not needy as in cash is low, or needing a babysitter. But needy, like "What are you doing now, and in the next 5 minutes, and the 5 minutes after that?" "What are you wearing?" "What's your favorite color?" "What would you do if you were me?" All of this and more makes one person too dependent on the other. He or she needs the other to make decisions, to basically tell them what to do. At first, you may feel like you're helping, like you're being there. But eventually, if it's unhealthy, you will get burned out, tired, and will start screening your calls, and not responding to texts, tweets, and facebook! The person will want to talk all day everyday, telling you ALL their problems, ALL their concerns, and then won't listen to sound advice to make things better. They also can't be relied on to hold your circumstances in confidence, nor can they help to bring you to positive results, because they are too focused on needing you to complete them, to think for them. They are almost like a leech, sucking and draining the energy out of you, and that is not healthy for you.
Mo and I have had moments where we may have been needy - but they were only moments of "temporary insanity". For example, last year, Mo was going through something, and it was days and days, and days. (Totally unlike us to let something take us under for too long...) So, after a while, I snapped her back and said, "look, we know better than this. This situation is up to God, so give it to HIM!" I encouraged her to begin reading positive things, the bible, and other books that filled our minds with positive things, and then I brought some books to her. I told her to speak life over the situation! Same for me, I was in a 4 year situation, and it consumed me. I was needy at points, because things would happen almost daily, and my venting started getting really tired. Mo had to show tough love to get me to snap out of it, telling me I was giving the other person power... and that "real bad boys move in silence", which meant to be quiet and let the other person destroy herself! It was hard, but it worked, life and death are in the power of the tongue! All I needed to do was be still, and quiet.
Needing someone is different than being needy. Over 26 years, we certainly have needed each other. During different stages of life, we relied on each other. There were also times when divine intervention made one of us do something like call the other, and we didn't realize the other one needed us. And many of those happened during some of our "separations"... But that's different. We know that NO MATTER WHAT, either of us can call the other at any given time, and we are there!
So, in the end, be sure that the people you may be calling friends are not needy in the respect that they need too much from you. Your friends should be their own person, and should compliment you, not complete you!
Blessings,
Tone For Real!
There are some people who are "needy". You know what I mean, not needy as in cash is low, or needing a babysitter. But needy, like "What are you doing now, and in the next 5 minutes, and the 5 minutes after that?" "What are you wearing?" "What's your favorite color?" "What would you do if you were me?" All of this and more makes one person too dependent on the other. He or she needs the other to make decisions, to basically tell them what to do. At first, you may feel like you're helping, like you're being there. But eventually, if it's unhealthy, you will get burned out, tired, and will start screening your calls, and not responding to texts, tweets, and facebook! The person will want to talk all day everyday, telling you ALL their problems, ALL their concerns, and then won't listen to sound advice to make things better. They also can't be relied on to hold your circumstances in confidence, nor can they help to bring you to positive results, because they are too focused on needing you to complete them, to think for them. They are almost like a leech, sucking and draining the energy out of you, and that is not healthy for you.
Mo and I have had moments where we may have been needy - but they were only moments of "temporary insanity". For example, last year, Mo was going through something, and it was days and days, and days. (Totally unlike us to let something take us under for too long...) So, after a while, I snapped her back and said, "look, we know better than this. This situation is up to God, so give it to HIM!" I encouraged her to begin reading positive things, the bible, and other books that filled our minds with positive things, and then I brought some books to her. I told her to speak life over the situation! Same for me, I was in a 4 year situation, and it consumed me. I was needy at points, because things would happen almost daily, and my venting started getting really tired. Mo had to show tough love to get me to snap out of it, telling me I was giving the other person power... and that "real bad boys move in silence", which meant to be quiet and let the other person destroy herself! It was hard, but it worked, life and death are in the power of the tongue! All I needed to do was be still, and quiet.
Needing someone is different than being needy. Over 26 years, we certainly have needed each other. During different stages of life, we relied on each other. There were also times when divine intervention made one of us do something like call the other, and we didn't realize the other one needed us. And many of those happened during some of our "separations"... But that's different. We know that NO MATTER WHAT, either of us can call the other at any given time, and we are there!
So, in the end, be sure that the people you may be calling friends are not needy in the respect that they need too much from you. Your friends should be their own person, and should compliment you, not complete you!
Blessings,
Tone For Real!
Sunday, December 11, 2011
Joy and Laughter
Tone talked about our love of laughter; and there is nothing else that could possibly describe us more than laughter, especially when we are together. Sometimes I feel like we are a tag team of comedic expression because of the things that happen to us and in front of us. It's almost like God is saying, I know who would appreciate the humor in this situation; let me allow Tonish and Monique to see it, hear it or experience it.
You wouldn't believe the things that happen to us on a daily basis. We both are like, "really? This can't be real. I know I'm being punked" and instead of us getting all bent out of shape about the things we may not find funny initially, we kinda just let it roll off our shoulders and look for the latest reason to laugh. A lot of people would probably get angry and bitter, but we have learned to embrace the situation, laugh about it and move on. That's all you Can do sometimes. It makes life so much easier.
I can tell when we are in certain places, it drives people crazy because we laugh so much. But its just who we are from the core. We're not being obnoxious when we're laughing, but we seem to have found a commonality in joy. I can almost guarantee that every conversation we have there is going to be laughter. Even serious situations gets us laughing.
I've noticed that we both laugh when we're nervous, when we make mistakes (almost as if we're laughing at ourselves) and also when we don't know what else to do. Don't get me wrong, we're not going around all day guffawing at everything we see like two goof balls. I think what it is, is that we enjoy each other's presence, we enjoy all the moments life itself has to offer and we enjoy being happy.
Do we have moments of sadness, fear, anger or pain? Yes. Do we "live" in any of those moments? No. Why? Because living life is too much fun and we've decided to exhibit joy even in our worse moments.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
You wouldn't believe the things that happen to us on a daily basis. We both are like, "really? This can't be real. I know I'm being punked" and instead of us getting all bent out of shape about the things we may not find funny initially, we kinda just let it roll off our shoulders and look for the latest reason to laugh. A lot of people would probably get angry and bitter, but we have learned to embrace the situation, laugh about it and move on. That's all you Can do sometimes. It makes life so much easier.
I can tell when we are in certain places, it drives people crazy because we laugh so much. But its just who we are from the core. We're not being obnoxious when we're laughing, but we seem to have found a commonality in joy. I can almost guarantee that every conversation we have there is going to be laughter. Even serious situations gets us laughing.
I've noticed that we both laugh when we're nervous, when we make mistakes (almost as if we're laughing at ourselves) and also when we don't know what else to do. Don't get me wrong, we're not going around all day guffawing at everything we see like two goof balls. I think what it is, is that we enjoy each other's presence, we enjoy all the moments life itself has to offer and we enjoy being happy.
Do we have moments of sadness, fear, anger or pain? Yes. Do we "live" in any of those moments? No. Why? Because living life is too much fun and we've decided to exhibit joy even in our worse moments.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Laughter keeps us MEDICATED!
Laughter really is medicine for the soul! One thing that keeps us sane is our ability to LAUGH!
Mo and I have a love for life. We like to have a good time, we like to enjoy ourselves, and have fun. We have this instinctive ability to get clues from another, and even laugh with our eyes! In her office, she has the words, Live, Laugh, Love - this is her!
We like the same kinds of movies, silly chick flicks with really zany humor! We like sitcoms that are really FUNNY! Mo can remember things much better than me though, and even won a bet last year when I thought a certain joke was by Cheryl Underwood and she KNEW it was Adele Givins! While we were in school, I used to try to go home on weekends and tape DEF COMEDY JAM, so I could bring it back to school. We would keep watching it over and over again and just laugh like we hadn't seen it already.
Mo, it seems, has always been able to make me laugh more, though. She's able to think REALLY fast, and that quick wit is something else. But when she laughs, it's for real! It's genuine. I tend to sometimes over-think things... I may want to laugh, but I am the one more apt to hold it in... This is where we balance - she cracks me up! When I tend to get too deep, she lightens it up. I am the one to dissect things, she just has this ability to shake it off with the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" attitude. I'm getting there... Pray for me... LOL!
Even yesterday, I was on a business call, and Mo was making funny faces at me, which of course, broke up my speech because I was trying not to laugh! I know the guy was wondering, "What's wrong with this lady, and has she started hitting up the EGG NOG, or what?" There was absolutely no reason for her to do that (and shame, shame, shame), but it was FUNNY, and we laughed even harder when I hung up!
It seems we've been like this forever; able to make each other laugh! Way back in the 7th grade, this helped to lay the foundation... For us, it's safe to laugh with and at one another. There is no judgement, probably because we have always found the same things to be funny. It's no surprise that both of our husbands have the ability to make us laugh too!
We have done some CRAZY things, and we can now look back at the clothes (yes, we've dressed alike on many occasions), the names (Tone-Luv and Mo-Ski in the place to be), the places (Riverside - not Six Flags, Mr. Pizza, getting stuck at the movies in East Hartford), the people (I'm not even going there today!) and so many other things and it cracks us up!
Laughter is important, healthy, and necessary in any relationship, otherwise, things will get very boring. And let's just face it, who wants to be bored with someone else... you may as well be alone:)
Tone
For real
Mo and I have a love for life. We like to have a good time, we like to enjoy ourselves, and have fun. We have this instinctive ability to get clues from another, and even laugh with our eyes! In her office, she has the words, Live, Laugh, Love - this is her!
We like the same kinds of movies, silly chick flicks with really zany humor! We like sitcoms that are really FUNNY! Mo can remember things much better than me though, and even won a bet last year when I thought a certain joke was by Cheryl Underwood and she KNEW it was Adele Givins! While we were in school, I used to try to go home on weekends and tape DEF COMEDY JAM, so I could bring it back to school. We would keep watching it over and over again and just laugh like we hadn't seen it already.
Mo, it seems, has always been able to make me laugh more, though. She's able to think REALLY fast, and that quick wit is something else. But when she laughs, it's for real! It's genuine. I tend to sometimes over-think things... I may want to laugh, but I am the one more apt to hold it in... This is where we balance - she cracks me up! When I tend to get too deep, she lightens it up. I am the one to dissect things, she just has this ability to shake it off with the "Don't Worry, Be Happy" attitude. I'm getting there... Pray for me... LOL!
Even yesterday, I was on a business call, and Mo was making funny faces at me, which of course, broke up my speech because I was trying not to laugh! I know the guy was wondering, "What's wrong with this lady, and has she started hitting up the EGG NOG, or what?" There was absolutely no reason for her to do that (and shame, shame, shame), but it was FUNNY, and we laughed even harder when I hung up!
It seems we've been like this forever; able to make each other laugh! Way back in the 7th grade, this helped to lay the foundation... For us, it's safe to laugh with and at one another. There is no judgement, probably because we have always found the same things to be funny. It's no surprise that both of our husbands have the ability to make us laugh too!
We have done some CRAZY things, and we can now look back at the clothes (yes, we've dressed alike on many occasions), the names (Tone-Luv and Mo-Ski in the place to be), the places (Riverside - not Six Flags, Mr. Pizza, getting stuck at the movies in East Hartford), the people (I'm not even going there today!) and so many other things and it cracks us up!
Laughter is important, healthy, and necessary in any relationship, otherwise, things will get very boring. And let's just face it, who wants to be bored with someone else... you may as well be alone:)
Tone
For real
Monday, December 5, 2011
What's It All About???
Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. There is a popular saying, "People are in your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime". The funny thing is that each of these are true for Mo and I.
We have certainly been in each other's lives for reasons. There have been specific times when either of us needed something that the other could deliver... humor, guidance, or even encouragement to "get in your car, Tone and drive home" when I wanted to defend myself:) (I didn't want her to say that, I even thought she would say the opposite which is why I called HER!) But God has a way of making us look back and laugh.
There have been many seasons in our friendship. I like to look at them as Middle School, High School, College, and Beyond!
Middle School, we couldn't be closer! This was our opportunity to lay the foundation. We got to know each other before we completely knew ourselves. So, I learned about her while I was learning about myself. This is when we LIVED in two homes, hers and mine. Our mothers were so good about supporting our friendship, Mo being the only girl, and me the youngest of two girls in the home. While we had plenty of older cousins and family, Mo and I were together almost all the time... All day in school, and then after school we went to either of our homes. Here is when we became Salt N Pepa! The music was important, the times were important, our education was important, and we grew together.
High school, I moved to Milwaukee mid-year, and this was our first seasonal experience. We still communicated, but we were young. This is where it was a struggle to maintain communication. BUT WE DID. I moved back to Connecticut, but we were still at different high schools. She was even my junior prom "date" (because my boyfriend made me mad!)When I was looking at colleges, I told Mo about where I applied, and I think I told her to come with me... (But of course I can't remember:) Nonethless, she applied and off to college we went!
College was going to be exciting, fun, adventurous, and more! We were Salt N Pepa back together again! But this time, it was more interesting. We weren't kids anymore. We were GROWN, 18 years old! We found it wasn't as easy as we thought... It wasn't bad, just not always easy... Try living with another person... Get it??? We had the chance to find out we weren't exactly the same, different interests, different hobbies, and so we gave each other the chance to explore those things.
These have been seasons in our lives that others would have just accepted the relationship to be a distant memory. But there is a reason for the seasons of our lives. Get it? It was divine order that allowed us to take time when we hurt each other, to allow each other the freedom to be who we are, to laugh with and at each other, and this, has allowed us to be friends for a lifetime!
We have certainly been in each other's lives for reasons. There have been specific times when either of us needed something that the other could deliver... humor, guidance, or even encouragement to "get in your car, Tone and drive home" when I wanted to defend myself:) (I didn't want her to say that, I even thought she would say the opposite which is why I called HER!) But God has a way of making us look back and laugh.
There have been many seasons in our friendship. I like to look at them as Middle School, High School, College, and Beyond!
Middle School, we couldn't be closer! This was our opportunity to lay the foundation. We got to know each other before we completely knew ourselves. So, I learned about her while I was learning about myself. This is when we LIVED in two homes, hers and mine. Our mothers were so good about supporting our friendship, Mo being the only girl, and me the youngest of two girls in the home. While we had plenty of older cousins and family, Mo and I were together almost all the time... All day in school, and then after school we went to either of our homes. Here is when we became Salt N Pepa! The music was important, the times were important, our education was important, and we grew together.
High school, I moved to Milwaukee mid-year, and this was our first seasonal experience. We still communicated, but we were young. This is where it was a struggle to maintain communication. BUT WE DID. I moved back to Connecticut, but we were still at different high schools. She was even my junior prom "date" (because my boyfriend made me mad!)When I was looking at colleges, I told Mo about where I applied, and I think I told her to come with me... (But of course I can't remember:) Nonethless, she applied and off to college we went!
College was going to be exciting, fun, adventurous, and more! We were Salt N Pepa back together again! But this time, it was more interesting. We weren't kids anymore. We were GROWN, 18 years old! We found it wasn't as easy as we thought... It wasn't bad, just not always easy... Try living with another person... Get it??? We had the chance to find out we weren't exactly the same, different interests, different hobbies, and so we gave each other the chance to explore those things.
These have been seasons in our lives that others would have just accepted the relationship to be a distant memory. But there is a reason for the seasons of our lives. Get it? It was divine order that allowed us to take time when we hurt each other, to allow each other the freedom to be who we are, to laugh with and at each other, and this, has allowed us to be friends for a lifetime!
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Spiritual Compass
One of the main things that has kept us as friends is that we have allowed one another time and space to grow, search and appreciate the other. At different times in our lives we were pulled away either by distance, mutual agreement or a preoccupation with other relationships. Although we saw each other everyday when we first began our friendship (in seventh grade) and even today, it hasn't always been that way. Life has brought us both on separate paths that didn't always include the other person. But, we would always stay in touch and make sure we "checked in". Whether it was just an "I was thinking about you today" (usually Tone) or "Can you do me a favor?" (usually me), we always managed to keep the other in the "loop" and always had a "word" to keep us grounded.
In 9th and 10th grade, we lived in separate cities (Milwaukee and Hartford). We spoke on the phone and wrote letters, but it wasn't the same. When you're in high school out of sight is out of mind. Tone eventually moved back to CT and we picked up right where we left off. We both had gone through our own transformation periods and we were able to share our experiences.
During college, we were roommates, but we both began to choose different paths. Tone didn't always agree with some of the decisions I made or the people I chose to hang out with, so she would keep her distance and I would give her that space. I also didn't always feel comfortable around certain individuals she chose to hang out with because I wanted to be me without reservation. So we agreed to disagree when it came to certain people and situations. We communicated a little less and for a time after this we really chose different lifestyles altogether. It was truly a learning experience for us both about who we were as individuals and who we were becoming in this world.
After I got engaged in 2000, I called her and asked her to be my Matron of Honor (she was already married) because although I had new "friends" and associates, I felt there was no one who could appreciate the responsibility of the position more than her. She was surprised because I had kept her far away from where I was at that time (physically and spiritually), but she still accepted and stepped up, just like it was 1986. After the wedding, I moved to Philly from 2001 to 2006. We talked on the phone every now and then and we even visited one another. We were always excited to hear from each other because we were adults and so much was going on that was similar that we always had something to talk about.
When I moved back she was one of the only people that did not question my choice, but she offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE. And when she made a difficult choice that everyone else questioned, I also offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE.
The moral of the story is: When life takes you and your friend in separate directions, make sure you have a spiritual compass that can always lead you back to the right direction.
Be Blessed
In 9th and 10th grade, we lived in separate cities (Milwaukee and Hartford). We spoke on the phone and wrote letters, but it wasn't the same. When you're in high school out of sight is out of mind. Tone eventually moved back to CT and we picked up right where we left off. We both had gone through our own transformation periods and we were able to share our experiences.
During college, we were roommates, but we both began to choose different paths. Tone didn't always agree with some of the decisions I made or the people I chose to hang out with, so she would keep her distance and I would give her that space. I also didn't always feel comfortable around certain individuals she chose to hang out with because I wanted to be me without reservation. So we agreed to disagree when it came to certain people and situations. We communicated a little less and for a time after this we really chose different lifestyles altogether. It was truly a learning experience for us both about who we were as individuals and who we were becoming in this world.
When I moved back she was one of the only people that did not question my choice, but she offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE. And when she made a difficult choice that everyone else questioned, I also offered encouraging words, advice and SCRIPTURE.
The moral of the story is: When life takes you and your friend in separate directions, make sure you have a spiritual compass that can always lead you back to the right direction.
Be Blessed
Really Mo
Friday, December 2, 2011
Friendship and Lessons Learned
Well, where do I begin? My best friend of 26 years said to me that we should create a blog. "A blog?", I said, "About what"? "About Friendship!"! she said. Now that is something we both know about and can certainly blog about. We have been friends since 7th grade and we have gone through just about everything together...from puberty to raising teens of our own. Our lives have often been parallel, but us as individuals are almost completely different. We enjoy some of the same leisure activities, our husbands work in the same profession and we work together, but a lot of our ideals are totally different. I believe this is one of the things that keeps us together (as friends) and also pulls us apart (at least once a day)...smile...we really do love each other and make sure we always pull it back together and KEEP IT POSITIVE!
Our goal is to share lessons we've learned and experiences we've had to help other girls, guys, women and men who are struggling with friendship. We plan to keep it 100% real, so people aren't under the impression that friendships never experience rough patches, friendship is unconditional, or that you have to run every time you don't agree with one another.
With that being said, We say," Welcome" and you are free to ask any question about friendship that you feel is necessary.
Really Mo
Time To Tell It ALL!
For several months, my FRIEND of 26 years and I have been brainstorming. We believe that there is something about our relationship - our friendship, that needs to be celebrated and shared. So, I had an idea today - to start a blog. I thought it would be great to share our journey.
So, I told Mo, "we (meaning her) should create a blog". She replied, "go ahead". Which meant 'we means you - it was your idea'... So, we both laughed, and before I could finish, she had it done! (I knew what I was doing... lol! She loves this stuff!)
Mo and I have been through so much; highs, lows, and in between... break-ups and make ups... but through it all, we have managed to find our "center". There has always been something that manages to bring us back... Don't you want to know what it is???
You have to hang around us for just a little bit to understand. We are honest, kind and compassionate, and we will shoot from the hip (with a little cushion). We are fun, a little mix of old-school and new-school. We like to look good and feel good! In the end, we believe that life has taught us many lessons; most we have paid immediate attention to, but some we did not. And because of those experiences, we have EARNED the right to share. And if we can help other friendships find their "center" then - let's GO!!!!!!
People need to remember that true friendship that can stand the test of time is a blessing to have. Mo and I frequently joke about the fact that many married couples don't last as long as we have!
So, join us, we will probably make you laugh and cry, and we may even surprise you. But you will feel SOMETHING REAL!
Tone
getting real!
So, I told Mo, "we (meaning her) should create a blog". She replied, "go ahead". Which meant 'we means you - it was your idea'... So, we both laughed, and before I could finish, she had it done! (I knew what I was doing... lol! She loves this stuff!)
Mo and I have been through so much; highs, lows, and in between... break-ups and make ups... but through it all, we have managed to find our "center". There has always been something that manages to bring us back... Don't you want to know what it is???
You have to hang around us for just a little bit to understand. We are honest, kind and compassionate, and we will shoot from the hip (with a little cushion). We are fun, a little mix of old-school and new-school. We like to look good and feel good! In the end, we believe that life has taught us many lessons; most we have paid immediate attention to, but some we did not. And because of those experiences, we have EARNED the right to share. And if we can help other friendships find their "center" then - let's GO!!!!!!
People need to remember that true friendship that can stand the test of time is a blessing to have. Mo and I frequently joke about the fact that many married couples don't last as long as we have!
So, join us, we will probably make you laugh and cry, and we may even surprise you. But you will feel SOMETHING REAL!
Tone
getting real!
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